The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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