Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
