What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
