now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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