Your tits are I can't wait for
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Blood and glitter go together right?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
