Quick, to the slutcave!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
