me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
