Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
