I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
