so that wasnt chicken after all
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
