The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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