they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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