I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
