Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize