i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Boobs are out for the taking
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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