Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
