big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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