I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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