last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
