marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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