My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
