Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.