GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You were trust falling into bushes