did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.