escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
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It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit