He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize