i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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