T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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