Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We named our party play list daddy issues
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
