So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Dicks are not precious.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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