two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
