who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
