You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So many bounce houses so little time
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize