please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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