Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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