Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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