it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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