Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
