i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
