I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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