it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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