He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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