Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
