I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
