I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
