piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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