My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
