I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
