I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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