I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
