she looked like the before picture.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
