If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize