You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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