you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
