I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
