seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
