I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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