Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My feet surprised me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
