I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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