we're chasing vodka with high fives
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
