You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize