your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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