when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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