my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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