No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
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I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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