Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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