Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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