The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
